The Model by Brooke Castillo

About a year ago as I was studying life coaching, I came across a very posh woman who was doing all the things that I wanted to do in life. So naturally, I listened and took notes. 

 

To my excitement, she taught me The Model™, which is one of the most simple, yet powerful tools that one could use in order to do life. (because you don't want life to do you, am I right?) 

 

In college when you are working and going to school and trying to enjoy a social life, you can very quickly feel like life is happening to you and it is out of your control. 

 

As a female, we often feel like our hormones are in control and that is a terrible feeling.

 

What I am about to teach you is so powerful. I use it all the time and it is the very first thing that I teach my clients. 

 

Here it is.. 

 

Everything in life starts with a circumstances. Circumstances are factual and can be proven. With every circumstance we get to choose (key word CHOOSE) what we want to think about that circumstance. Everything that we think causes some kind of feeling that causes us to take an action. Every action has a result. 

 

So it looks like this. 

 

Circumstances 

Thoughts

Feelings 

Actions

Results 

 

So once you have this figured out and you know what they are, you sit down and you write out what you are unintentionally thinking and what you want to think. 

 

It might look something like this. 

 

Unintentional Thought Model 

Circumstance: I got drunk at a party last night 

Thought: I am a complete idiot 

Feeling: I feel ashamed. 

Action: I sulk around feeling sorry for myself. 

Result: Hours are spent in the victim mentality 

 

Intentional Thought Model 

Circumstance: I got drunk at a party last night 

Thought: History doesn’t have to repeat itself.

Feeling: I feel in control of my future decisions. 

Action: I go on about my day.

Result: I do not waste my time worrying about a dumb decision. 

 

Here is another one that I love because I also teach public speaking. 

 

Unintentional Thought Model 

Circumstance: I am getting up in front of my class to give a speech. 

Thought: I am going to forget something. 

Feeling: I am scared. 

Action: I have to get up in front of the class-- I do not have a choice. 

Result: I am shaky, red faced and sweaty.

 

Intentional Thought Model 

Circumstance: I am getting up in front of my class to give a speech.  

Thought: I am so excited to share what I have prepared. (key word ‘excited’) 

Feeling: I am feeling excited.  

Action: I use the energy from my excitement to present my speech

Result: I nail it. 

 

This is the most valuable tool that I have ever learned to use. After you have practiced this for some time you will be able to stop yourself the middle of a meltdown or the middle of a fight and change the way you are thinking about a situation. 

 

It is like when you see two people who had a really hard homelife growing up and one becomes a teacher and the other is an alcoholic and beats their spouse. You wonder how these two people who had such similar upbringings turned out so differently. It is because of their mindset and how they chose to process and think about their lives. 

 

I have a friend who grew up in an abusive household where she had a gun literally held to her head as part of a sick game her dad played. She was told she was fat and would never be anything. They were super poor. Today she runs a seven figure company that is growing everyday and has a killer body. She decided from a young age that she was not going to let her childhood circumstances determine her future. 

 

Using The Model™ is the number one concept that you need to learn going into college. It can help you to eliminate nerves. It can help you start acting like an emotional adult instead of an emotional child. It will help you to show up in any situation level headed and clear on your thoughts and ideas. 

 

There is a mistake that I see my clients make a lot when they are first learning how to use The Model™. They want to put opinions in the thought line. One of the most common circumstances is I am fat. This is a thought, most of the time. Another one is my partner hurt my feelings. Let me speak to this one for just a bit. No one can hurt your feelings. There are circumstances and thoughts that happen before you even get to feelings. So if you say that someone hurt your feelings, what you are really meaning is that you decided to get your feelings hurt. Words can hurt, if you let them. 

 

Let me go into this a little more, because I hear so much about people hurting other peoples feelings and it is okay to have feelings and be nice you do not want to hurt their feelings. 

 

Listen, If you are getting your feelings hurt all the time you need to get in control of the way you are thinking. It is not the responsibility of the world to tippy toe around your feelings. If you have low self esteem and people are always hurting you, then you need to get your big girl panties on decide how you want to think about things people say to you. 

 

If you have made a 32 on the ACT and someone tells you that you are dumb, is that going to hurt your feelings? NO! Why? Because you know (thought) that you are smart. It doesn’t matter what anyone says about your intelligence. You know you are smart so there is nothing that they can say surrounding this idea that you can even give negative thought to.  

 

There was a time when I was not happy with my body, so anytime someone said anything about the way I looked it hurt my feelings. Now people say things about the way I look and it literally does not phase me because I know I look good and feel good and what other people think about me is literally none of my business. I do not care. I know who I am and I am confident in that. 

 

If you are getting your feelings hurt or you are getting offended all the time you need to take a look at what is going on in your brain. What are you thinking that is causing your feelings to get hurt? Do you believe what other people say about you? Or do you believe what you know to be true about you? 

 

You are at a point in your life right now where you have to grow up. Using The Model is going to help you grow up really quick, in a good way. 

 

If you feel like your life is out of control- Do a thought model. 

If you are about to yell at someone- Do a thought model. 

If you are about to eat and it's not meal time- Do a thought model.

If you are getting nervous about something- Do a thought model. 

If you feel like you are out of line- Do a thought model. 

 

I do them all the time. It helps bring me to the reality of every situation. Trying to figure out what the circumstance is requires me to ask myself, “what is true?”   A lot of times what I am thinking is the circumstance is actually a feeling or a thought. 

 

In the membership we do a lot of thought models because they are the foundation of what I teach and it is what you must learn in order to grow up and be in control of yourself. If you are out of touch with the reality of what is going on around you, it would be really hard for you to ever move forward at the rate you want to! 

 

If you like what you are seeing here and you want to know more, which I am sure you do, hop on over here to learn more about Transition YOUniversity. There you will learn about everything that we cover in the membership and why you should be a part of it, because you definitely want to be part of it! 

You can learn more from Brooke Castillo here

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