In a TED Talk by Douglas Lisle he talks about the pleasure trap and he relates it mostly to food. But I want to take a spin off his teachings and relate this to your world as a teenager or young adult.
I remember being in my teens and feeling like everything except for church and basketball were off limits. Everything that looked like pleasure was off limits to me.
It is a blessing to you if your parents are keeping you safe from risky behaviors. Later, probably in your 30’s, you are going to thank them for keeping you safe. But there is going to come a time where you are going to have to start avoiding risky behavior for the sake of your future. Many of you are already making the decisions to avoid risky behavior. The temptations to come in your future in college are far greater than your temptations now. I want to take this opportunity to teach you about your brain. Why do you think the way you think? Are you a maniac? Or are just human?
If you want to think new thoughts, you have to know what you are already thinking. Your brain wants to think things that it has always thought. For example, try brushing your teeth with your left hand. It is hard, because it is something that your brain is not used to doing.
You also want to be able to distinguish between thoughts that are actually true and thoughts that have just been burned into your memory. I think about my friend Dr. Cali Estes. Her dad always called her fat as a kid. A lot of people would have eternalized this and choose to think that they were fat. Cali didn’t do that. It is awesome when we can be told something our entire life and then consciously choose to think a different thought. Everything that you think is a choice.
To start you have to identify thoughts that you are thinking now. You really have to pay attention to this for it to work. There are probably several negative thoughts that you are thinking that you do not...
Time.. We never have enough of if-- or so we believe. We tell our friends, family and professors, “I am sorry, I just do not have time.”
I don’t have time to workout.
I don’t have time to visit my grandma.
I don’t have time to take a nap.
I don’t have time to study for this test.
I don’t have time to work a job.
I don’t have time to cook my meals.
These are all lies. So often we get caught up in telling ourselves lies because it feels good. If I know I have time to workout but I am choosing not to, it feels much different than saying I don’t have time. We are told from the time we are little that lies hurt people and that is so true. When we lie to ourselves we are only hurting ourselves. You do have time to do all the things I mentioned above. Quit lying to yourself.
Here is the truth though. You may not have the skills necessary to accomplish all...
About a year ago as I was studying life coaching, I came across a very posh woman who was doing all the things that I wanted to do in life. So naturally, I listened and took notes.
To my excitement, she taught me The Model™, which is one of the most simple, yet powerful tools that one could use in order to do life. (because you don't want life to do you, am I right?)
In college when you are working and going to school and trying to enjoy a social life, you can very quickly feel like life is happening to you and it is out of your control.
As a female, we often feel like our hormones are in control and that is a terrible feeling.
What I am about to teach you is so powerful. I use it all the time and it is the very first thing that I teach my clients.
Here it is..
Everything in life starts with a circumstances. Circumstances are factual and can be proven. With every circumstance we get to choose (key word...
Let’s be real. You do not want to spend hours on hours studying. Studying to get yourself through college is essential, but there are ways that you can reduce the amount of time you study and increase the effectiveness of the study session. Right now you are learning about time management. Time management is the most useful thing you will ever learn to do. (If you are not learning about time management click here.) However, if you are not able to work effectively in these moments, then you most likely will start to have trouble with having enough time because the things you are trying to do are taking much longer than they should. We are going to start with tips to reduce the number of hours you have to study.
Here is what you need to know.
I was at a funeral today and it took me back to the fire inside me that burns to leave a legacy and an impact when I leave this world. I think a lot of times we wait till we are older to start thinking about these things, but I promise you that it is very to early to visualize and work toward that legacy.
Jamie Allen said in her book 40 Days to Finding Your Purpose that when she leaves this earth she wants to meet the Lord out of breath. That spoke so directly to me. I am not the kind to sit back and let life happen. I am out there getting it and I assume if this title caught your attention that you are that person too.
How do you know what your legacy will be?
I guess the funny thing is that you will never know the extent of your impact; the lives you touched, the change you made. But to be on the journey that lasts forever is a really exciting thing. It never ends. I think about Rita Pierson, she gave the famous speech Every Child Needs a Champion...
Weather you are in high school or college, you are experiencing a time in your life where there is so much to do. There are exams, ball games, parties, family events, work, school and extracurriculars. And then there are all the other fun things you want to do like go to the movies or take a road trip with your friends.
It is hard to fit all these things into a 24 hour day, but it is possible and I am going to explain how to do this like a boss.
So here we go….
There are days where I feel like I am totally out of control of my emotions and my feelings. Feeling like you are out of control can happen for plenty of reasons. It is important that you know what you need to do when you start to feel this way.
Often times when people feel like they are out of control of their life they start to self medicate with drugs, alcohol or food. I remember when I was in college and newly married, I decided that I would start drinking wine because I knew that so many women would decompress after a long day with a glass of wine. So I tried it. I cared too much about my health to drink anything other than red wine, so I went to the liquor store and asked for a good red wine that was in my college student/newlywed budget. I went home and tried to drink a glass of it. Hated it. Forced myself to drink it because I needed something and drinking was worth a shot. It was sick, but I forced it down. After drinking it, I didn’t feel better. For me...
Dating 101 should be a course that you have to take in high school and again in college. It should cover the do’s and don'ts of finding your soulmate. Most everyone is dating and looking for that person to do life with, or to just hang out with. There is nothing wrong with it, but you want to do it right.
Am I an expert on dating? No, but I have dated a lot and I believe that it is an important part of finding the right person.
Where to Find a Good Person to Date
Because of your age you are most likely somewhere between a junior in high school and a sophomore in college. School is the obvious place that you are going to meet someone. And I am going to say that this is a fairly safe place to meet your soulmate. What you might want to think about is where you do not want to meet your soulmate. If you meet them somewhere that you would be embarrassed or ashamed to tell your kids someday, maybe that is not the place to be looking. If you have...
Out of state? In State? 4 year college? JuCo? Online? Face-to-Face? Students loans? Grants? Scholarships? ACT Score? SAT Score?
Where in the world do you start with all this? And is it even possible for you to go to college for free?
Yes. It is.
But it is not an option that many students take because it is hard and it requires sacrifice in a lot of situations.
Here is where we are going to start..